Little Big Helpful Things We Can Do For Women, As Men

Mayur Gharat
12 min readFeb 3, 2023
Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

When I was little, I began forming in my head observations and ideas about the world. We can sometimes become magically attached to other people and feel their joy and sorrow without even speaking to them.

With something similar, I began to notice that women do a lot of work that isn’t recognised as real and hard work, consisting of multiple responsibilities, no appreciation because they are expected to do that work, or the assumption that who else will.

To keep the family together, the house woman always seems to be understanding and willing to make compromises.

I respect and care about my mother and friend’s mother even though I’m occasionally (or always) afraid of them :D

I’ve been interested in this subject for a while because I wanted to find easy solutions that we could use to bring satisfaction, opportunities, and happiness that can assimilate in our daily lives.

And, guys, I have feelings for you too :)

Unlearn

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The first and the best thing we can do is to unlearn some things about women that we have been following as boys/men since we were young. Some faulty presumptions prevent us from properly understanding them and socialising with them.

Girls’ self-esteem, ambition and expectations are the first victims of gender stereotypes.

_ Sources

Some of the way we live and work stems from ingrained assumptions that may have persisted in the past and are beyond our control. Since we are aware of it now in the present, we can do something about such unfairness.

Things that we men take for granted are magical to them. Women still have to think about their appearances, walking alone at night, as well as many other situations where men can enjoy their perks.

We can help women reclaim their lost joy if we care just a little more.

What I’ve discovered is that, while men and women are biologically different, studies show that men and women have similar desires, attitudes, and skills. Making gender biases on those differences does not seem appropriate.

Another study found that women’s priorities are not fundamentally different from men’s, but it is widely assumed that women prioritise their families over their careers (which are in fact quite humble), negotiate poorly, lack confidence, or are too risk-averse.

These differences may appear minor and insignificant in childhood, but they have a long-term impact on how we engage with them.

As a result, eliminating such assumptions and associated behaviours should be a part of our environment.

Learn

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After unlearning, the next best thing is to learn about them. We can try to grasp something, if not everything.

We can begin by doing one small thing at a time. I’m writing this, you’re reading it, and it’s a good start.

Instead of directly starting to change society, politics, rules, and people, I believe we can change ourselves. That is insignificant, but it can be a good starting point.

It is far easier to change our thoughts slightly to maintain women’s well-being than it is to change other people’s perceptions, which are beyond our control.

“Gender equality is not simply an issue for women. It is a necessary prerequisite for a peaceful, prosperous, and sustainable world. But it is also a fundamental human right. And gender-based violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the modern world.”

_Springwise

Women have a sixth sense; they can detect the intentions hidden beneath their words and actions. We can pay attention to what we say (and do) and make sure we’re encouraging fairness and equal treatment toward women in everything we do.

Women are cool. They don’t complain, they don’t join riots, and they don’t burn cars and break window glasses for stupid reasons.

Women have evolved to try to build and cherish social relationships that provide them with care and support.

If you acknowledge, women are given the most important and natural responsibilities.

This entire system functions on the assumption that women do housework for love.

_Nivedita Menon Seeing Like a Feminist(2012)

Women tend to prioritise people over themselves, focusing on elevating others.

Try to get along with their relatives and friends. It’s plausible that they’ll feel good, and you will as well.

If you look around, you’ll notice that more women than men appear to be undernourished and skinny. There could be a reason for this. Most, or better, all of the women do domestic chores without any help.

Women are at their best when they are caring for everyone else but themselves. While she is busy taking care of us, we must look after her health and nutrition.

We can avoid allowing women in our homes to eat last and least by making it a habit to eat with them, asking them how their day was and if she is got tired.

Become economically independent. Make sure you can stand on your own two feet. Become powerful so that you don’t have to rely on a man.” That was one of the main purposes of the women’s movement, and it’s been achieved with spectacular success, even if not completed.

_ Richard Reeves

So buckle up guys.

Manage Yourself

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While women are more educated and employed than ever before, they still do the majority of household and familial duties.

Most men would feel shame if caught preparing with their own hands precisely such a dinner, whether of animal or vegetable food, as is every day prepared for them by others. Yet till this is otherwise we are not civilized, and, if gentlemen and ladies, are not true men and women. This certainly suggests what change is to be made.

Henry David Thoreau: Walden (1854)

So, if you’ve truly buckled up, begin doing your chores or, at the very least, begin assisting your sister, mother, and others. Meanwhile working, you can put your phone to be fully charged ;D

We can think about how not to burden her with the chores the next time we have guests over.

Another important thing we can do is buy gadgets and accessories. Spending money on useful things is questioned and doubted ten times in our environment.

The latest smartphone at ₹ 30,000 is fine, but a washing machine at ₹ 11000 which can help women complete a major chunk of their routine and reduce physical work, is expensive.

Modern appliances such as washing machines, dishwashers, electric stoves, refrigerators, vacuum cleaners, and many others not only save physical energy and reduce pain but also allow men to participate in women’s daily lives.

It is difficult to wash dishes and clothes as we have traditionally done, no matter how much you care for and love her.

Using a washing machine is simple and convenient to use for both children and adults. As a result, they can contribute a significant amount of work to the household.

In no way am I encouraging consumerism here. What I want to emphasise is that we can design our environment so that it is easier for us to begin caring in some way rather than none at all.

We can save some of their health and energy. Naturally, a woman has more time to spend on other activities like sleep, work, and leisure the less time she spends on chores.

Being a little nice and helping them isn’t boring.

Politics And Social

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Today’s war is a war of ideas.

“You don’t have to believe in patriarchy to realise that the law was made by men and is dominated by men and that the same goes for parliament.

_Sources

I’m not a Scholar in literature, and I don’t fully understand politics, but I do know that many things are clearly unfair to women.

Women are forced to work flexible hours and accept low-paying jobs. Even if the work that paid less was no less physically demanding or skilled than that given to men.

They also devote more time to childcare or household chores than their husbands or other male family members.

So women have more responsibilities at home, still, they are entitled to the same medical and sick leave benefits as men (except for maternity leave). Because most men and women now work from home, women are likely to have more obligations — both personal and professional — than men.

So, gender-specific policies can be beneficial. But, in the meantime, we can take action.

The unpaid efforts done by women can amount to the equivalent of 3.1% of the country’s GDP. As a result, it must be compensated because it plays such an important role in sustaining the economy.

One of the big things to consider (which should be obvious) is to include domestic chores in paid wages, as they generate income indirectly.

A minimum wage for a woman can be a big deal for some men, and they’ll start thinking about how is this right, what if women take advantage of us, what if they trick us, and such floodgates will open up as they come from heaven.

India losing $1 trillion annually to corruption.

_Sources

All those government schemes have been and will continue to be shared by those, you know who.

However, a small portion of the budget, if spent, will not have many financial consequences on the institutions, but it can be extremely valuable for housewives and empowering for working women.

“Why wait for someone to make policy and rules that will go through 100 worthless approvals?”. We can begin by allocating a sum to a woman in our home who ensures that children go to school and men go to work the next day.

Opportunities For Her

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Men are thought to be powerful. So, don’t just feel strong; act strong and help them get opportunities.

If this research is correct, just replacing men in positions of power with women can reduce corruption.

What I mean is that they should be given opportunities because they will benefit everyone, not just themselves. A woman is defined by her inherent qualities of empathy, compassion, and generosity.

The lack of learning is nothing but gross bestiality. It is through the acquisition of knowledge that (he) loses his lower status and achieves a higher one.

_Savitribai Phule

The concept of “Molkarin” in India or other countries, should be eliminated, where women are a compulsion to do exhausting daily chores for others simply because of the fact that they owe more money and can pay the maid for the labour.

Let them have opportunities in whatever direction they want to go.

Don’t just throw them at the job; stay behind them to make sure they don’t fall, and if they do, help them get up and restart. And watch what they do.

Don’t wait for a woman to be perfectly prepared for a new role; instead, give her opportunities to stretch and grow through challenging new responsibilities.

Provide feedback to women as well. Any colleague can have blind spots, so if you notice areas where a woman could improve, speak up and offer suggestions and coaching.

Instead of comparing them, celebrate their differences. We cannot place responsibility on them simply by blindly following gender equality.

Lastly, one little thing. We don’t have to judge women. Things change, and people change.

How could I, of all people, chastise someone for their past?
_Kite runner

Attention And Conversation

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Take out some time for them, the way they do for you.

If we are watching something for entertainment, we can do it together, at least occasionally.

What we do or how we do it is far less important in this case. The mere act of thinking about them can cause an emotional burst of joy within them.

What she really wants is for you to listen, to try to understand, and to give her the support she needs to solve the problem on her own.

Moms are interesting and easy to talk to if you spend time with them. And when you do, it’s the most valuable thing for them.

For example, I talk about my day or events in my daily life with my mother and sister while they cook, and I assist them by cutting vegetables and handing them necessary items. (I can cook, but not particularly well. So they don’t allow me to make sabzi :P)

Women who do housework are frequently subjected to harsh words from men over trivial stuff. Men put their work frustrations on them. Even if there is no argument, it is still incorrect.

Most women choose to listen because they are kinder and smarter than men. They understand that men may have had a difficult day or may be struggling with something, so it is better to simply listen, even if she is hurting on the inside.

She becomes concerned and overthinks what went wrong when her children (or other family members) do not eat properly or to her satisfaction. “Perhaps the daal was too salty,” or “Perhaps there was less salt,” are some of the guilts she carries.

We can tell them about our professional lives and engage in light chit-chat now and then, which can lift both our and her moods.

Women laugh more than men. This implies that even though they do much work, they are in good mood and might be also enjoying their work.

So laugh more. A genuine laugh is one of the most honest ways to convey: I’m with you.

Conclusion

Finally, we are all somewhat similar, with a subjectively short time on this planet, so let us be a little caring and kind.

Men can take care of women, women take care of everyone.

People owe each other responsibility and obligation. Success is never achieved on one’s own. It is the result of strong relationships and resilient, respectful communities.

Of course, there are numerous other possibilities that I may have missed which certainly can have alternatives.

The point I was trying to make was that we should be willing to question ourselves and work against the resistance to create a better world for everyone who deserves it.

Being gifted doesn’t mean you’ve been given something. It means, you have something to give.

_ Lain Thomas

Mother Teresa never married, but she loved like no one else.

And those of us who live privileged lives, whether men or women have something to give back. We must accept responsibility for those who can’t help themselves.

We must take their hands and raise them to a level where they are satisfied and happy; of course, women are so wonderful that they can find happiness in any situation.

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